How to Write Wedding Vows That Feel True to You

Tips from a Milwaukee Wedding Planner Who Gets It

Your wedding vows are one of the most personal and heartfelt parts of your big day. They’re your chance to speak directly to your partner, sharing your love, promises, and the quirks that make your relationship special. Whether you’re a poet at heart or prefer to keep it simple, this guide will help you write vows that are authentic, meaningful, and uniquely you.

Photo by Jesse James Wedding Photography

How to Write Your Wedding Vows
Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows
Wedding Vow Examples for every style
Questions to inspire your wedding vows
Frequently Asked Questions about writing vows

How to Write Your Wedding Vows

Writing your wedding vows can feel a bit overwhelming, but breaking it into simple steps makes the process much easier. As a Milwaukee wedding planner, I've seen how heartfelt vows can transform a ceremony—here's how to make sure yours do, too.

Reflect on Your Relationship: Think about your journey together. How did you meet? What moments made you realize they were “the one”? These personal details will make your vows feel authentic and intimate.
Decide on a Tone: Chat with your partner about whether you want your vows to be romantic, funny, traditional, or a mix. This helps keep things balanced and prevents surprises at the altar!
Outline Key Points: Include how you met, what you love most about your partner, and the promises you want to make for your future.
Write a Draft: Don't worry about getting it perfect right away. Focus on getting your thoughts down first. You can edit later!
Edit and Polish: Refine your wording to make sure it flows well. Read it aloud to catch any awkward phrases.
Practice: Rehearse your vows a few times to feel confident, but not so much that they sound rehearsed.

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Be Authentic: Speak from the heart and stay true to who you are. Your partner chose you, quirks and all.
Keep It Concise: Aim for 1-2 minutes—just enough to say what matters without losing your guests.
Ditch the Inside Jokes: Make sure your vows resonate with both your partner and your guests.
Get Specific: Share personal details that make your relationship unique, like the time they brought you soup when you were sick or how they remember your coffee order.
Give Yourself Time: Writing meaningful vows takes time, so don’t wait until the last minute.

Wedding Vow Examples for Every Style

Romantic:

"From the moment we danced under the stars in Milwaukee's Third Ward, I knew you were my forever. I promise to love you fiercely, to be your safe place, and to choose you every day."

Humorous:

"I promise to love you even when you insist on watching the same show for the fourth time. I vow to support you in all your hobbies—yes, even that sourdough phase."

Traditional:

"I take you to be my partner in life, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health. I promise to walk beside you for all the days of my life, through every season and every chapter."

Questions to Inspire Your Wedding Vows

What do you love most about your partner?
How has your relationship grown over time?
What challenges have you overcome together?
What qualities in your partner inspire you?
What promises do you want to make for your future together?

Answering these questions will give you a solid foundation for your vows and make them feel personal and sincere.

Frequently Asked Questions When Writing Your Vows

Q: How long should my vows be?

A: Aim for 1-2 minutes, which is typically 150-250 words.

Q: Should we share our vows beforehand?

A: Totally up to you! Some couples prefer the surprise, while others like to align the tone and length.

Q: Can I include quotes or song lyrics?

A: Absolutely—just make sure they add meaning and fit naturally.

Q: What if I get emotional?

A: That’s perfectly okay! Keep tissues handy, take a deep breath, and remember that emotions make your vows real.

Q: Should I memorize my vows?

A: If you can, go for it! But reading them is perfectly fine—what matters most is that they come from the heart.

Final Thoughts

Writing your wedding vows is a deeply personal part of your wedding day. Take your time, stay true to your voice, and remember—there’s no “right” way to do this. The most important thing is that your vows reflect your love story in a way that feels real to you both. 💖

Photos: Jesse James Wedding Photography

Venue: Burlap and Bells in Wisconsin

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